GriefSPEAK: The Emperor’s New Clothing – Mari Nardolillo Dias

by Mari Nardolillo Dias, contributing author

The sorrow connected with the loss of flexibility in totally free speech triggers a good deal of stress and anxiety and unpredictability, comparable to a death.

At this time of agitation and disrespect for disagreements it appeared time for a reprint of this popular short article

We are residing in a world stuffed with a minefield of words. It’s nearly difficult to prevent them, however I will attempt, as I zigzag through the mire of nouns, verbs, and adjectives. Although I choose to be mute today, I will rally– as I never ever wish to be compared to the emperor who has brand-new clothing. A few of the words I select to utilize are possibly explosive, however ideally, within the context of sorrow and loss they are tasty.

The world is grieving. Everybody is experiencing several losses, and anger appears to be the popular reaction. Not always reliable, simply popular. Anger is a comfy, typically appropriate, identifiable feeling. Anger is simple.

As a teacher of scientific psychological health therapy, I am acutely conscious (and motivate my trainees to be similarly so) of subtexts. Anger can be like a Potemkin town, a façade that masks the fact– the masking and hiding of the real feeling, the one that makes us feel susceptible and scared.

Worry, hurt, rejection, powerlessness all frequently are masked as anger, which is likewise part of loss. We are frightened since our world is various, and hence we feel the requirement to reassess our self-schema and worldview. Modification is similarly as frightening for numerous. The viewed disintegration of the signs of our past, the questioning of our standard cultural standards and worths, the sensation of being denied of voicing our own fact, are all factors for worry. We are afraid of informing the emperor he has no clothing on, afraid to slam or respond to what is taking place in our world today, since of the viewed knowledge of the masses. The masses, nevertheless, are screaming out loud and clear what they see, what they view as their fact. Easy to understand.

The present circumstance might be comparable to the old kids’s video game of Red Rover. “Red Rover, Red Rover, send you right over.” As our name is called, we run as quick and as tough as we can to break the connection of hands of the opposing group. Loss, anger, and worry are running set to break the connection too. However what if the connection is the objective? Not we. Not them. However us?

This effort might appear useless, however what we do have is our capability to reveal ourselves. Today. Regardless of our views we require to exceed the anger and acknowledge what it is. Hear the subtext. Possibly worry of loss. However let us, everyone, speak our facts like the little young boy who divulged what everybody was believing– “the emperor has no clothing”.

Be the kid. Do not hesitate. However do it in harmony, mercifully, respectfully and with grace. There is space for everyone.


To learn more short articles for RINewsToday by Mari Nardolillo Dias, go here:

Dr. Mari Dias is a nationally board-certified therapist, holds a Fellow in Thanatology and is licensed in both sorrow therapy and complex sorrow. Dias is a Qualified death doula, and has a Certificate in Mental Autopsy.

She is Teacher of Scientific Mental Health, Master of Science program, Johnson & & Wales University. Dias is the director of GracePointe Sorrow Center, in North Kingstown, RI. For more details, go to:


Dias is the author of GriefSPEAK, Vols. I and II